Still in love with my first love after 20 years

When you figure out which it is, youвЂ™ll know exactly what to do.вЂќ Maybe you ended things with this person because you needed to explore what else was out there and were too young to make a lifetime commitment. Maybe youвЂ™ve heard the quote, вЂњPeople come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

You made a mistake and let go of someone you took for granted.ДonвЂ™t beat yourself up too much about this one. Eventually, when you meet someone great, you will eventually be able to let the last person go and move on.

You canвЂ™t get over this person because you canвЂ™t remember what dating anyone else is like! You donвЂ™t want to get back to that awful dating scene and you know you will inevitably compare every new person to your ex.Д«ut, this is just because it was your most recent relationship.

He or she was your most recent relationship. Your brain doesnвЂ™t want you to remember how jealous and needy he was or how he betrayed you. You only remember the secret love notes he left around your house, the silly made up nicknames and the way he decorated your room when you came back from Europe for a month. Of course, our stupid brains keep flashing happy memories to us. You only remember the good times, not the problems. You miss the idea of being with SOMEONE - itвЂ™s just not necessarily this person. You were a part of a couple and you felt you that had a place in the world, with your partner. He or she made you feel loved, treasured and safe. You canвЂ™t get over this person because he or she provided so much for you at a pivotal time in your life. It is our choice whether we ultimately rekindle the relationship or let the person go. Though we may have strong emotional memories, they are not imprints. If this were accurate, there should be no question as to the reason why we can't get over our first loves.В Unfortunately, if this were true, we would never be able to bond with anyone after the first person with whom we fell in love. ThereвЂ™s a theory that if you fell in love during adolescence, like I did when I was 16, the person will be imprinted on you like a biological bond. Are some of us just gluttons for punishment?Д®ven if the breakup ended amicably, what prevents us from moving on? 1. Why did this affect me so much? When we see our friends continuously giving second, third and tenth chances to guys who are wrong for them, we wonder why they canвЂ™t listen to our advice and stop communication. So many people navigate heartbreak and come out feeling okay. It was so bad that I called my mom and asked if I was going to be okay (self-diagnosed hypochondriac.) When I suddenly found myself single during my freshman year of college, I had this aching pain in my chest. Cry it out a few times, but then go watchВ вЂњPitch PerfectвЂќВ and cheer yourself up. People, take my advice: when you are sad, DO NOT LISTEN TO SAD SONGS. Listening to the lyrics, вЂњNo one is ever gonna love you more than I doвЂќ only made me cry myself into oblivion. It was like I was purposely sabotaging myself from feeling better. If you ever find yourself heartbroken, 18 and back in the year 2007, I would highly recommend not listening toВ One RepublicвЂ™s вЂњApologize,вЂќ or Band of HorsesвЂ™ вЂњNo OneвЂ™s Gonna Love You' on repeat, alone in your dorm room.

Still in love with my first love after 20 years